Reflections from General Conference

It's been an interesting an thoughtful two days. I've learned some important (and sometimes difficult) things about myself over the past two days as I've listened to those the Lord has chosen to lead and guide us, and also the whisperings of the Holy Ghost in my heart.

First and foremost, I feel the need to repent. No one need suppose me guilty of any great or malignant sins. The disposition to commit such is not in my nature. But I have not been as dilligent as I should have been. I have allowed anger and fear into my heart and countenance, thus blocking the Spirit from operating in my life as I would like. I have also become casual in my scripture study and prayer. All of these things have affected me, as well as my family.

Feeling the stirrings of repentance, I have pledged to have morning prayer and improve my evening prayer, and recommitted myself to daily scripture study. These two things, prayer and scripture study each day, make a huge difference. There is a noticable difference when I am doing what I should be doing.

I have also apologized to my wife and kids for my poor behavior over the past little while. I have been angrier than is needful, which has lead me to snap at my wife and be a mean Daddy (not in the helpful sense of "mean" either - you parent know what I mean).

I can also bear testimony of the power of the Lord to sustain. About a week ago, we had friends visiting. There was a night where several members of both family were sick and throwing up. I was already on my last legs physically and emotionally, and this rapidly drained my meager reserves. At about the time I ran out of energy, something remarkable happened. I was able to walk back and forth, and up and down, to do what was needful. I was able to be gentle, kind, and loving. In a literal way, I felt carried. The Lord always keeps His promises, and He is always there to lend us strength when we need it.

That is the other thing that I took home from Conference. Even though I have not lived the commandments as I ought to have done, repentance is always available. I can begin today, tonight, this very moment to do the things that I should. I can humble myself and pray for forgiveness. I can listen more carefully for the quiet whisperings of the Spirit, which can direct me in all that I do. For this, I am grateful. And it is available to all, no matter their race, gender, skin color, or age. The Lord is truly no respector of persons, and all are under the umbrella of His love.