Reflections from General Conference

It's been an interesting an thoughtful two days. I've learned some important (and sometimes difficult) things about myself over the past two days as I've listened to those the Lord has chosen to lead and guide us, and also the whisperings of the Holy Ghost in my heart.

First and foremost, I feel the need to repent. No one need suppose me guilty of any great or malignant sins. The disposition to commit such is not in my nature. But I have not been as dilligent as I should have been. I have allowed anger and fear into my heart and countenance, thus blocking the Spirit from operating in my life as I would like. I have also become casual in my scripture study and prayer. All of these things have affected me, as well as my family.

Feeling the stirrings of repentance, I have pledged to have morning prayer and improve my evening prayer, and recommitted myself to daily scripture study. These two things, prayer and scripture study each day, make a huge difference. There is a noticable difference when I am doing what I should be doing.

I have also apologized to my wife and kids for my poor behavior over the past little while. I have been angrier than is needful, which has lead me to snap at my wife and be a mean Daddy (not in the helpful sense of "mean" either - you parent know what I mean).

I can also bear testimony of the power of the Lord to sustain. About a week ago, we had friends visiting. There was a night where several members of both family were sick and throwing up. I was already on my last legs physically and emotionally, and this rapidly drained my meager reserves. At about the time I ran out of energy, something remarkable happened. I was able to walk back and forth, and up and down, to do what was needful. I was able to be gentle, kind, and loving. In a literal way, I felt carried. The Lord always keeps His promises, and He is always there to lend us strength when we need it.

That is the other thing that I took home from Conference. Even though I have not lived the commandments as I ought to have done, repentance is always available. I can begin today, tonight, this very moment to do the things that I should. I can humble myself and pray for forgiveness. I can listen more carefully for the quiet whisperings of the Spirit, which can direct me in all that I do. For this, I am grateful. And it is available to all, no matter their race, gender, skin color, or age. The Lord is truly no respector of persons, and all are under the umbrella of His love.

Wisdom from a Two Year Old

Wisdom can come from the most unlikely of places. I've often found that my children can be unusually wise, as they are as yet untainted by the world. Today's wisdom comes from Lizzie (although she will be three in just over a week, she still qualifies as a two year old for now). My eldest had just finished her prayer for dinner. Then comes this wisdom from Lizzie:

"Jesus gimme hug. Jesus love me."

I assured Lizzie that Jesus would indeed give her a hug if He were to appear. And I know that Jesus loves Lizzie. I'm gratefully that Lizzie knows this too, and at the tender age of two (almost three).

Our Latest Family Member

I'm a little late posting this, but better late than never. About two months ago, we became the proud owners of a mini Rex rabbit. His (her?) name is Dash. Susie originally bought him, but he has quickly become the family pet. He has brought great joy to our family with his antics. I have discovered that this particular rabbit is friendly, curious, clever, and more than a little bit mischevious. Not unlike a toddler, really. :) Also, he does not like being picked up. Although I can empathise with that. I wouldn't want to be picked up by some alien twenty times bigger than me either.

This is the first time in my life that I have had a pet. It is very enjoyable, as well as a decent amount of work. But it is very rewarding when I am petting Dash, and he flops down onto his side next to me. Or when he gives any available skin on my arm or leg a good washing with his tongue (a rabbit way of saying "I like you"). It is a bit frustrating when he quickly figures a way around a poorly placed gate and gets into places he knows he shouldn't be. And it is nice to have another family member.

And there is one big advantage to owning a rabbit versus raising children. I can put the rabbit in his cage if he misbehaves too much. :>

Anyway, here are some pictures of our new addition.



Dash chills out in his hutch upstairs



Dash enjoying lunch



Dash likes having his head rubbed



Dash checking out Esther



Lizzie and Esther giving the bunny some loves

Weary

Why is it that I am still up when I know I should be in bed?

Why do I know that a thing is wrong...and then do it anyway?

Why do I sabotage my own efforts to change and improve?

Why do I make so many mistakes and cause myself and my family unnecessary heartache?

When will I do all the things I know to be right, letting go of my fear of the unknown?

When will I cry and let the pain out instead of storing it inside?

Random Thoughts

I'm sitting here in front of the computer, and I can't escape the prompting that I need to blog. I'm not sure about what yet, hence the title. :)

I guess I will start with our latest vacation (yes, we had them in back-to-back months). July 11-17, we went to one of our favorite family vacation spots: Aspen Grove. This is the third year that we have done the family camp, and we all very much enjoy it (we're already looking at going again next year). All of the kids had moved to a new age group. Esther was a Bobcat, Jayson was a Tromper, and Lizzie was in the oldest Romper group. This also involved different drop-off locations for Jayson and Lizzie.

It was a very nice and relaxing week. I love the beautiful mountain scenery. I love the food. I love all of the different activities, all of which are optional. And I love how they take my kids for several hours each day. :D We had a lot of fun, and made some new friends. Here are some highlights, in no particular order:

• Dance Dance Revolution contest with Susie. I was worn out for the rest of the day.
• Discovering a new board game (Carcassonne), and playing it with new friends, one of whom is a cousin of one of my best friends from college.
• Swimming in the pool with all three children. Esther discovered that she could swim by herself with a life jacket on. Both she and Lizzie went down the slide into the pool this year.
• Esther enthusiastically singing her Bobcat cheer and the "Fireman" song in the closing program.
• BYU Creamery ice cream available at the store whenever I wanted some. I had more than was good for me. :)
• To my great suprise, winning first place in the air rifle shooting competition.
• Watching Susie play and win first place in the women's singles badmitton.
• Shooting paper rockets during family time on Monday.
• Random visits from Ava, an energetic 4-year old who was staying across the hall from us, and whom Esther met in Primary on Sunday.
• The huge smile on Esther's face when she got a song and a birthday cake the night before her birthday.
• Naps.

So as you can see, we had a good time. I'll have to upload some pictures when I get around to getting them off of the camera and onto the computer.

The day we got back from Aspen Grove (Friday) was also Esther's birthday. My mother came down, and we had an enjoyable time together. The next day, we went to Chuck-E-Cheese, and also had one of Esther's best friends from school (Torrey) over to our house. It's hard to believe that my little baby girl is now six. I have two more years to teach and hopefully provide a good example before she has the opportunity to be baptized.

Yesterday was also an enjoyable day. The Elder's Quorum sponsored its annual "Trim and Swim". I went and helped mow lawns and haul away dead tree branches in the morning. In the afternoon, my family and I went to a nearby large home that has a pair of swimming pools (complete with waterslides) for the "Swim" portion of the activity. I wore myself out, and Susie, Esther, and Jayson all got sunburns, but we had fun.

This weekend was also the 24th of July celebration, which is a holiday in Utah, so I took the opportunity to set off some more fireworks. This time, I didn't burn my thumb (like I did on the 4th), and everyone seemed to have an enjoyable time. Esther and Lizzie took naps so that they could watch the fireworks. I was glad to include them, although it was a major pain to get them to bed after that. Jayson was going to watch a late movie instead (he doesn't care for fireworks at this point in his life), but the poor guy slept right through, only waking up briefly to complain that he was still in his clothes. I helped him into his pajamas, and he went straight back to bed.

I've still been struggling with the computer games. Yesterday, I came very close to re-downloading one of the ones that I deleted back in April. I had actually started the download. Fortunately, it is a very large download, so I took the time to look through the mail. Included in the mail were the latest church magazines for August. As I thumbed through the Ensign, I happened on an article about online computer games. It was enough to bring me back to my senses and stop the download. I'm grateful for the Lord and His tender mercies in watching out for me. I really feel like I was snatched out of an extremely dangerous situation.

I'm also grateful that I am in the position to teach my children about this. I know at least one of my children shares my tendencies for computer game addiction, and I want to help guide her to a safer path, if possible. It's not that computer games are bad. It's the excessive and addictive nature of them that make them dangerous. Besides, there are so many better things with which I could be spending my time. Thank you to those of you who have prayed for me. Your prayers are deeply and gratefully appreciated.

That's all for this round. Maybe I'll get some pictures posted later.

Father of a Kindergartner no longer

Yes, Esther has graduated from Kindergarten. It's very odd, as it seems like it was just the other day when I took her for her first day of school. They've really done a fantastic job at her school, and Esther has been working hard too. She was already well on her way to reading before going to school, but her abilities have jumped by leaps and bounds. I am very impressed with the school in general, and with her kindergarten teacher Ms. Thompson in particular.

I did indeed get the chance to do a magic show for Esther's kindergarten, just three days before her kindergarten graduation. The show went reasonably well, although I did have one major prop malfunction. I'll tell you, kids are a really sharp audience. They didn't miss a single thing. Sometimes that worked to my advantage, and sometimes not. I did enjoy doing it, though. It was my first "live flight", if you will, a magic show done for someone other than my family and close friends. I learned quite a bit about what works and what doesn't work. It's all part of becoming a better magician. It was very rewarding, when I got a collective chorus of "Ooooh" from the watching children. :)

So this was all at the end of May. Why am I just now writing about all of this? Because the same day as Esther's kindergarten graduation, after dinner, we all piled into the truck and drove halfway across the country. We first drove to Minnesota to see some dear friends of the family. After a couple of days of recuperation, we drove to Ohio to visit Susie's family, and pick up some of her things. After a few more days, we returned home the way that we came.

I'll say this much. It was quite an adventure! We did a lot of driving at night while the kids attempted to sleep in their car seats. Part of me still can't believe that we went all of that way, and then all of the way back. I became quite familiar with the gas stations and rest stops along I-80. I also got a firsthand experience of navigating the roads in the Chicago area in the middle of the night.

It was a good trip. The kids seemed to enjoy themselves, and they were exceptional travel buddies. They did as well as a 5, 3, and 2 year old could be expected. It was good to see our friends in Minnesota as well, as the last time we were out there, Esther hadn't quite learned to crawl. Susie's family was cordial as well, and the kids got to swim in a swimming pool at the hotel we stayed at in Ohio (which they were very excited about).

I don't know that I would take such a long drive again in the near future. But shorter trips should be no big deal now. The Minnesota/Ohio trip was around 2,000 miles one way. Two hours and 120 miles to Logan sounds like a quick jaunt down the street compared to what we did.

The trip took up the first week and a half of June. Unfortunately, we got sick right at the end of the trip. I actually got sick the day before our last driving leg (Minnesota to Utah). I was sustained in a miraculous way to be able to drive on not much sleep, but I've been recovering ever since. Two of the kids, and Susie, also got sick once we got home. And then there are all of the little things that tend to pile up when you're gone for a week and a half. But thanks to the Lord's mercies, we are beginning to get back on top of things.

So that's our latest adventures from these parts. Oh, and Happy Father's Day to all of the dads out there!

Certifiably Insane?

I've been working on improving my magic lately. Although I won't put David Copperfield out of business anytime soon, I am getting better. I now consider myself an amateur magician, rather than a beginning magician. I owe many thanks to Susie. She asked me to perform a show on her birthday, which gave me the motivation to start practicing again after an absence of several months. She also came up with another idea to keep me going. She suggested I make my services available for Esther's kindergarten.

I initially dismissed the idea, but the more I thought about it, the more I couldn't get it out of my head. I do enjoy performing magic, and I have always thought it would be fun to perform for children. My own interest in magic came through seeing magicians in my youth. So I sent off an email to Esther's teacher. No response. I dismissed the idea and thought nothing of it.

Well on Friday, I went to an activity at Esther's school involving the fathers of the kindergartners ("Guys and Games", which was enjoyable in its own right). I asked Esther's teacher if she had gotten my email, and she said that she hadn't. I then mentioned that I am an amateur magician, and Esther's teacher got excited. She mentioned it to the other kindergarten teacher, who said, "Why are we just now finding this out?" :)

So that's how I volunteered myself to do a 20-30 minute magic show for 40 kindergartners a week from Tuesday. I'll either have a lot of fun, or I'm insane. Perhaps a mixture of both. :D

I Need Your Help

Hello my blog readers,

It's been a long time since I've posted, partly for the reason I'm asking for your help. You see, I struggle with computer game addiction. I have for most of my life. Recently, I have been seeing signs that it was time to put the games away...again. They just aren't satisfying. Entertaining, yes, but they won't fill the void that I am looking for them to fill. Only Jesus can do that. And I also need to keep working on my emotional issues.

Anyway, I had realized the unsatisfying-ness of them. Also, the computer has developed a hardware problem that causes it to shut down periodically when I am playing games...but not for any other program. I could fix the problem, sure, but I took it as a sign that there were better things I could be doing with my time. The first talk in General Conference yesterday was the clincher for me. As I listened to the end of the talk on TV, I came over to the computer and uninstalled my personal games. It was the right thing to do. President Uchtdorf's talk in Priesthood Session only strengthened my resolve.

See the thing is, I've been down this road before. The addiction and the desire to play computer games runs very strong in me. I am firm in my commitment now. But I am afraid that I will forget. I am afraid that I will return unto these distractions again, as they divert my attention from the things in life that really matter. That's why I am asking for your help.

Will you please pray for me? Pray for me to resist the temptation. Pray for me to find healthier things with which to fill the void. Thank you so much.

More pictures for a new year

Hello all,
I originally planned to post an unusual and inspiring experience that happened to me a couple of days ago. But first, I want to post some more pictures. All of these were taken this year (2009). Enjoy!



Lizzie having fun after church.



Jayson and I wearing our new Christmas vests, compliments of Grandma.



Esther reading to Jayson at bedtime.



Lizzie's new hairdo.



The kids playing in the igloo Susie made in our front yard.

Here's a better shot of the igloo, although it's harder to see Esther and Jayson inside.