Fair Consequences

Jayson is my delightful son, who just turned three. He is polite, helpful, thoughtful, and full of energy. Earlier today, he wanted to help me empty the dishwasher. I showed him where the various items of silverware go in the drawer, and he got most of them right. He sometimes says very sweet things. My recent favorite is, "Daddy, you're my good friend." Yesterday, we went to Lowe's together to pick up a replacement spark plug for the lawn mower (which, unfortunately, is dead). We also went to Toys R Us and played with the trains.

Now lest you think I have the perfect toddler, let me assure you that I have no such delusions when it comes to my son. He can also be crabby, stubborn, and mean to his sisters. He's been going through a phase where he likes to push, hit, and kick. I'm hoping it is a very short phase. In the meantime, we have a couple of consequences set up (yes, I'm getting to the point of my post eventually, bear with me :-). Sometimes I will sit on him, particularly if he has hit or kicked. He really doesn't like that. If he gets pushy, he gets sent to his room with the door shut.

I had an unexpected opportunity to show Jayson that consequences apply to all family members. Just before we went to church, I called downstairs for the children to come up and put on their shoes. In fact, I called down several times. I was already a bit crabby, and the fact that I got no response from downstairs did little to improve my mood. I stomped downstairs, and got there just in time to see Jayson knock Lizzie down. I'm sad to admit it, but in my anger, I went and knocked Jayson to the floor also. I immediately felt bad about it.

Jayson went upstairs, crying, and told Mommy what I had done. I came up right behind him, and admitted what I had done, and that it was wrong. I knelt down to apologize to him, and suddenly had a flash of inspiration. Since he usually gets sent to his room when he does that, I should get sent to my room. So I went into the bedroom, and invited Jayson to close the door on me, which he did with some enthusiasm.

A small, silly little incident? Perhaps. But it also teaches an important lesson. Daddy is not exempt from the rules. Consequences should be fair when possible, and that includes me. It shows that the rules are important to everyone, and everyone needs to follow them.