Father of a Kindergartner

Esther starts Kindergarten tomorrow. It's hard to believe. I have numerous feelings at this point. First off, I'm excited for her. This will be a good opportunity for her to learn, grow, and make new friends. She is also excited right now, and I hope that continues. She's got her backpack packed and ready, and she has visited the classroom twice.

I'm also a bit amazed at how fast the time has gone. It doesn't seem like that long since my kindergartner was a tiny little baby, who enjoyed spitting up on me regularly. When I stop to think about it, it boggles my mind how quickly she has gone from a tiny baby to an eager kindergartner.

I'm slightly apprehensive. My schooling experience was not the most pleasant at times. Not the learning so much as the social. Esther will have some of those challenges too, but I am comforted that she has extra resources to draw on that I did not have. I think I mentioned them in an earlier blog post, but they bear repeating. Esther has a daddy, two siblings, and a church support network, three things that I did not have. I know that it will make a difference. As her teacher said, no child comes with everything. Some parents will be working on the ABC's with their children (Esther has known them since age 2). Others (like Susie and myself) will be working with their children socially.

I'm realizing that many things will be changing. I got a taste of this when I was scheduling our Aspen Grove trip earlier this year. I had to choose a week around the school schedule. Things won't be quite so happy-go-lucky as they used to. Of course, part of that is a good thing. As I will be Esther's ride into school each morning, it will encourage me to have better sleep habits, and I will be getting into work at the same time (and earlier time) more consistently.

I'm tired. That is pretty much a given by this time of night. :)

I'm grateful that I have the Priesthood. I gave Esther a "Back-to-School" blessing. I plan on doing this for each of my children once a year. After I finished with Esther's blessing, Jayson and Lizzie also expressed a desire for one. Although they aren't starting school yet, they are impacted by this change (as Susie wisely pointed out), so I gave each of them a blessing as well. I'm grateful and humbled that I can stand in Jesus' place, and attempt to do the things that He would do if He were here.

I'm also realizing that my little girl is growing up. I hope that I have taught her wisely and well, because she is going into a larger world, where more words and opinions will be thrown at her. As much as I would sometimes like to be there for her all the time, I realize that I will not always be there to help her, and it is time for her to learn to stand on her own a little bit. That is part of the growing up process. I knew it was painful when I was going through it. Now I can see a little bit of what it is like being on the other side, as a parent. It is a good step, but it will change all of us.

I'm grateful that, no matter what happens, Esther will always be my little girl. That will never change.