Certifiably Insane?

I've been working on improving my magic lately. Although I won't put David Copperfield out of business anytime soon, I am getting better. I now consider myself an amateur magician, rather than a beginning magician. I owe many thanks to Susie. She asked me to perform a show on her birthday, which gave me the motivation to start practicing again after an absence of several months. She also came up with another idea to keep me going. She suggested I make my services available for Esther's kindergarten.

I initially dismissed the idea, but the more I thought about it, the more I couldn't get it out of my head. I do enjoy performing magic, and I have always thought it would be fun to perform for children. My own interest in magic came through seeing magicians in my youth. So I sent off an email to Esther's teacher. No response. I dismissed the idea and thought nothing of it.

Well on Friday, I went to an activity at Esther's school involving the fathers of the kindergartners ("Guys and Games", which was enjoyable in its own right). I asked Esther's teacher if she had gotten my email, and she said that she hadn't. I then mentioned that I am an amateur magician, and Esther's teacher got excited. She mentioned it to the other kindergarten teacher, who said, "Why are we just now finding this out?" :)

So that's how I volunteered myself to do a 20-30 minute magic show for 40 kindergartners a week from Tuesday. I'll either have a lot of fun, or I'm insane. Perhaps a mixture of both. :D

I Need Your Help

Hello my blog readers,

It's been a long time since I've posted, partly for the reason I'm asking for your help. You see, I struggle with computer game addiction. I have for most of my life. Recently, I have been seeing signs that it was time to put the games away...again. They just aren't satisfying. Entertaining, yes, but they won't fill the void that I am looking for them to fill. Only Jesus can do that. And I also need to keep working on my emotional issues.

Anyway, I had realized the unsatisfying-ness of them. Also, the computer has developed a hardware problem that causes it to shut down periodically when I am playing games...but not for any other program. I could fix the problem, sure, but I took it as a sign that there were better things I could be doing with my time. The first talk in General Conference yesterday was the clincher for me. As I listened to the end of the talk on TV, I came over to the computer and uninstalled my personal games. It was the right thing to do. President Uchtdorf's talk in Priesthood Session only strengthened my resolve.

See the thing is, I've been down this road before. The addiction and the desire to play computer games runs very strong in me. I am firm in my commitment now. But I am afraid that I will forget. I am afraid that I will return unto these distractions again, as they divert my attention from the things in life that really matter. That's why I am asking for your help.

Will you please pray for me? Pray for me to resist the temptation. Pray for me to find healthier things with which to fill the void. Thank you so much.

More pictures for a new year

Hello all,
I originally planned to post an unusual and inspiring experience that happened to me a couple of days ago. But first, I want to post some more pictures. All of these were taken this year (2009). Enjoy!



Lizzie having fun after church.



Jayson and I wearing our new Christmas vests, compliments of Grandma.



Esther reading to Jayson at bedtime.



Lizzie's new hairdo.



The kids playing in the igloo Susie made in our front yard.

Here's a better shot of the igloo, although it's harder to see Esther and Jayson inside.

A few pictures

Here are a few pictures to go with my most recent post, and a couple that have absolutely no relation to my last post. Hey, I can't get too predictable, can I?

Susie and I in St. Louis. Gee, it actually looks like we like each other!

My NaNoWriMo "Winner" image. :)

Esther holds her latest "kill" (her ponytail).

Jayson coloring one of his favoritest things: Trains!

Lizzie just being cute (and boy, does she know it!)

My girls. :) Aren't I a lucky guy? I think so!

Boy, it's been awhile!

Hard to believe it's been two and a half months since I last blogged! I'm not going to try to fill you in on everything that I've done lately (I can hear the sighs of relief from here), but I will touch on a few highlights. Prepare yourself for the list format once again! *diabolical laughter from the shadows*

• In October, Susie and I had the opportunity to take a trip to St Louis, Missouri. A dear friend of the family was getting married, and we flew out to join the festivities. Maia and her beau were married in the St Louis temple, which I had never been to before. Unfortunately, the directions I got off of the web were a bit inaccurate. Getting there was a real trial of faith, but we did make it in time for the wedding. And with less than a minute to spare! (whew). The trip was also memorable for me because it is the longest trip that Susie and I have taken together without the kids since before Esther was born. Many thanks to Grandma Chris and Becky for watching our treasures so that Susie and I could get a much needed vacation.
• I participated in a challenge called NaNoWriMo in November. NaNoWriMo is short for National Novel Writing Month. The challenge is to write a 50,000 word novel during the month of November. I got started a few days late, but I successfully completed the challenge on November 29th! The novel isn't exactly in publishable format, but it was exhilirating to write it! I remember that I really enjoyed writing stories when I was a young boy in elementary school, and this is one of the first times since then that I have done it. And certainly, it is the longest story I have ever written. I suppose that one of these days I should actually finsh the story and then start revising it, but I haven't felt like it. But it was major progress toward one of my goals, which is a good thing.
• As far as my other goal goes, I haven't made huge progress in learning magic. But I got my interest rekindled earlier this month. On December 1st, the family went to a Christmas celebration at the Provo library. The festivities included a magician, who we went to see. Susie and I saw another magic show at my company's party later that week. The second magician was quite good, and rekindled some of the childlike wonder I feel toward magic. And through my studies, I have a pretty good idea how some of the magic works, which added to my enjoyment. I talked to the magician after the show, and learned that there is a local group of an international magician's organization that meets monthly in the Provo/Orem area! I hope to be able to attend one of their meetings in the near future.
• I got an award at work last week. Every quarter, a few employees get an "Above and Beyond" award. My supervisor nominated me for the award, and I received it at the company meeting. The award came with a nice certificate and an equally nice cash award. :) I don't need the recognition, but it is nice all the same.
• After almost five and a half years, Esther decided to get her hair cut. She looks different with short hair, but still cute. In fact, the cuteness comes from inside, so Esther would be cute even with no hair at all. She is also donating the hair to Locks of Love, something that Susie encouraged her to do (having participated in the charity herself). I think that is a good thing to do. I would donate myself, but I don't think I would look very good with long hair.

Those are the main highlights. There have also been several challenges over the last two or three months, but I don't think I'll focus on them right now. Suffice it to say, I would shed no tears if I didn't go back to work until next year. Oh well. I only have to work two days next week, so I guess I won't complain too loudly.

A Small Piece of Self Acceptance

I had an interesting experience on Tuesday night. Tuesday is my racquetball night. The local fitness center has a racquetball league in the fall and winter, and I have participated for several years. It is enjoyable, and I get to see a lot of different play styles, along with a wide range of skill levels.

Now in racquetball, there are those who are professional players, and those who are more recreational players. I feel like I fall somewhere in the middle. I'm not really good enough to consider myself a pro, but I am reasonably good, and I enjoy playing regularly. I've toyed with the idea of playing more often and practicing more to boost my skill level, but I've never been serious enough about it (when it comes down to it, I really dislike doing drills, which are necessary to get really good. Also, I would also need to lose quite a bit of weight).

As I got home after league on Tuesday night, I hopped into the shower. It's amazing how many of my "Aha" moments come in the shower! Anyway, I realized that I accepted myself as a recreational racquetball player. That may seem like a simple statement. However, being a perfectionist, I rarely accept any portion of myself or my behavior. So just being able to accept a small portion of myself is a big thing. I further realized that I am okay where I am. I am content to be a recreational racquetball player, who goes and plays once a week or so.

It's nice to be able to accept a part of myself. I believe that I need to accept myself where I am before I can change.

Sick Inside

I just experienced one of a parent's worst nightmares. On a short family walk this evening, I saw Esther ride her tricycle out into a busy road as a car approached. Susie and I both screamed her name in unison. Fortunately, the car stopped and there was no harm done, but I still feel sick inside. Both Susie and I tried to explain the seriousness of what had happened, because I don't think Esther gets it. She doesn't understand.

I love Esther dearly. I don't think I could handle it emotionally if I lost her at this time. I'm grateful that she is okay. I'm not sure whether I want to hug her, throttle her, or ground her, or all three at once!

Maybe it's time for the lesson involving the milk jug filled with sand that is placed in the road for a car to run over. Perhaps that will get the lesson through.